Chelsea Cutler just released a song for the first time in ages and it’s bringing back all the feels. If you didn’t know, she’s my FAVORITE singer in the whole wide world. There’s no one that’s able to touch my soul as she does. A few songs have similar vibes that give me shivers, artists like SHY Martin or the band CAMINO, “light rain” by Woof! It’s Billy, Loote and Carlie Hanson get close too but none of them touch the level of connection Chelsea creates with her songs. 

“Walking Away” 
And it’s not your fault that we are here
It’s not your fault you want independence // It’s not your fault you want something different
Sometimes two people break when they’re bending, // Sometimes two people don’t share the vision, yeah
And it’s not my fault that we are here
It’s not my fault that I love intensely // It’s not my fault that I’m always going
Sometimes two people can’t make their ends meet, // Sometimes two people change without knowing, yeah
Oh, I know I’m gonna miss waking up to you in the morning
Oh, I’ll go ‘fore it gets too late
Oh, I don’t wanna leave you here but you’re more important
Oh, I’ll go ‘fore I ask to stay
I’m walking away (I’m walking away)

Most of the times when I listen to Chelsea’s songs they leave such intense memories. Sometimes it’s a person’s voice, sometime’s it’s a person’s smell or hug and sometimes it’s places, the energy and capture of a moment I was in and listened to the song. “Your Shirt” for example, was a person and a time after that person. It was winter and close to Christmas so it always brings glitter even though the time it reminds me of was me fighting feelings (not surprising, I know). “You were good to me” and “please”, similar, even though this was end of winter to spring, around my birthday (I love my birthday), they remind me of the time when I came back to Munich after a holiday in Melbourne where I fell in love with the city and the people so hard I knew I had to pack up my things and come back here after I finished the Semester.

These songs make me feel so deep. I know people say they sound sad, and never can handle me listening to them on repeat. But really, because they touch me so deeply they actually make me happy? My friends are so confused when I say that I listen to these songs when I get ready for a night out because they help me work through whatever I need to work through, and it always feels like I’m scraping out the negative feelings and releasing them by listening and therefore feel so much lighter when the songs are over. Sasha Sloan’s songs can do that to me too, “Lie” for example, they bring me energy through sadness but it’s not sadness. It is feelings that are so deep, like a black box of emotions unlocked through them. They whirl up the emotions and set them free. Word’s can’t describe how blessed I feel that these artists are able to create this.

“You were good to me”
Leavin’ isn’t better than tryin’
Growin’, but I’m just growin’ tiredNow I’m worried for my soul
And I’m still scared of growin’ old
You were good to me
You were good to me, yeah
And I’m so used to letting go
But I don’t wanna be alone
You were good to me
You were good to me, yeah, ohGod only knows where our fears go
Hearts I’ve broke, now my tears flow
You’ll see that I’m sorry
‘Cause you were good to me

Both the songs “walking away” and “you were good to me” don’t necessarily remind me of a person, it’s also my geographical locations and where I feel the need to be. Back when I left Munich I felt as though the songs made me feel this about leaving Munich, now I’m thinking it’s showing me that I need to leave Melbourne, to be happier and let go of sadness. I hope other people are also able to feel this deep connection through music because honestly, it’s the best feeling in the world. So complex, but simple, making you feel your true self and lighting a way.

~thoughts of the moment, Saturday morning on July 17~

S xx