where do i start. within 3 weeks i decided to leave what has always been and will always be but at the same time at this minute MY home. the first home as a somewhat grown ass tweenie figuring out who tf she is and what she can do. i’ve been rollercoasting through thoughts of belongingness (what’s new) but also experiencing all these new feelings that are wilder to even fathom and put into words. (as every story known to man would start). i had questioned some of my strengths and capabilities because i could never be part of discussion in melbourne, until i met this guy. my field of interest and passion is so far from what my friends know and live daily. and then this 30 something genius, most loving person of an ex-fiancé i have yet to thank for letting him go and enabling him to shape this small world of mine showed me just how good enough i was. with this newly found confidence the glass somehow shattered and suddenly i knew what i wanted. who i wanted to be. and that was just a minor occurrence of the past months. i’ve had to deal with so many people leaving me, but i am starting to not be mad about it anymore. i’m thankful. for the life i was given by my badass superman of a dad and mum. i don’t know how they do it but together they conquer the world and now i feel like i am finally catching up on it.

i have yet to explain what it means to have two cultural backgrounds that seemingly aren’t that different but man do they have impacts of different kinds. the point is, even though i feel as though i am from both and belong to both it also takes away that feeling of deep roots, making it impossible to feel 100% connected to the country, culture and people. but i have had my share of trying to make it work and i’m exhausted. through debating back and fourth where i wanna be when i finish my master i realized how strongly, in an exhausted child-cry kind of way, i felt like i needed to be in my nest of family and close friends that are more like minded and energetic. i know my energy is so beyond what people can usually digest, but here i feel almost admired for it sometimes. i dive so deep, i feel so strongly, i can’t even explain to you what goes through my head at what speed in only seconds of one excruciating long day. which is why it’s so good to be writing again. 

i have a new home now. the prettiest apartment in the vibrant heart of munich, with two gorgeous girls and already after the first weekend surrounded by the most amazing bunch of people. let’s do this. new adventure. new life. finding what i want to be. i cannot wait, to take you with me on this ride. 

talk soon. kindest, yours truly, the high sensitive energetic goofball with the biggest heart xx S